great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
