Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
