this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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