Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
