i just made my gag reflex go away.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
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We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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