you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
