Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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