Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
