she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.