I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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