mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..