You were right. It hurts to walk today.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
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i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
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I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.