It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.