I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!