no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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