Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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