She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
wakey wakey hands off snakey
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
