I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
