i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
