first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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