Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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