Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Walk of Shame today included voting.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
