in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
