You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Randomize
