apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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