I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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