I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
