Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
