There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
