im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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