she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
