i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
