I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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