god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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