The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
