the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
