Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
