Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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