i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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