I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Vodka?
Forever.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
i think i just lost a toe
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
