There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
