I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Well I just put wine in my tea
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
