Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
