we're blogging at a bar
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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