I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
