he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
