fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
