Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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