Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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