i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
