There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
