That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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