Don't you send me to vm
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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