Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
