He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
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this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
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The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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