Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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