i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
