peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize