I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
