My liver just broke up with me...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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