But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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