The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
