The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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