Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
