I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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