i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
