I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
